If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
