i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
