Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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