Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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