toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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