I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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