dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
