so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sext me about skeletons
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