we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
