just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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