I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
