It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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