roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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