Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
