Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
