why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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