Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
