Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize