My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize