u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
