It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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