Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
