their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
