i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
