My boss' voice literally gives me gas
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
