I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
