Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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