So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
