i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
His nipple licking is glorious
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