just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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