it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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