Where did you get a picture of my penis
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
