I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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