Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
