im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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