you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
what day is it and did you see me today?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
