I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
