i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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