I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
