i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
