Umm I'm too high to move.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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