What a fucking waste of an outfit
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I did not marry a roomba.
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