My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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