I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize