my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
