I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
