If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
