So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
