My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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