I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
