i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You are a genius and a whore.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize