im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
