its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
