Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
