Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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