Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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