do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Small penises have feelings too.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
