i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize