Need sex. Gaining weight.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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