Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The air was thick with penises
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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