What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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