That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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