I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
