I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
