Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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